My Red Tail

Hello peeps! Sorry, it's been years since my last post here. I got really busy with work and my so called boring life. Nothing really special happened, the boredom just got worst. The adventure I've been yearning for never took place, not even in my dreams! I am so unlucky. I am not as blessed as other people, financially, emotionally, spiritually, and yes, even physically. If there's someone you know who is "almost perfect" or "close to perfection", uh-uh, that's not me. I wish one day, my life would change. I am depressed as of the moment. Well, there's nothing more left to say. Til next time, goodnight everyone!

OMG! I've got a few more days left before I go back to Doha and work again. I haven't enjoyed my vacation yet that's why I'm so frustrated and depressed. What will I do now? I've got a week to spend it wisely. Where should I go?

I've got plans to go to Boracay, Aklan. It's the best place to unwind but because of the weather, I don't want any storm or even just a rainy day spoil everything. I also considered going to Disneyland Hongkong but because of the swine flu that is scaring the world lately, I had to forget about that great idea.

My oh my.... poor me... I'm so upset that I wasn't able to do anything so good to be proud of. I will be working for another 365 days in Qatar or even more! My niece will be a year older by then and everybody here in the Philippines have enjoyed a lot while I'm stuck in front of the computer editing pictures of aspiring "beauty queens" in Qatar. LOL!

Oh well, I believe that God has the best plans of all. I know He planned something great for me. I guess I just have to wait 'til He shows me what I deserve.

Happy Mother's Day!!! Thanks for being so loving and caring to us! May God grant you all more strength to spread the love in the world... We love you!

To my mom and my sister, Happy Mom's Day! I love you both... I hope that you'll continue to love us and take good care of us like u always do.

I've always been intrigued about this movie. Someone told me, it's about a life of a family with a dog named Marley. I've always loved dogs since my childhood days and I can say that dogs have a place in my heart. I tried watching this movie twice but being tired from work made me stop from doing so. I always end up snoring, and waking up in the morning with my laptop on and finding out that the movie is over. So, finally, on my way home to the Philippines, I had time to watch it from beginning to the end. I didn't had a second thought about which film I will watch in the airplane.

I remember Tasha, my Siberian husky at home. She is as naughty as Marley. She chews everything she sees. And everytime we get back home, we always see the mess she's done. It even came to the point that my mom wanted her out of our lives. Imagine the fear I had back then. I told my mom that I'm not going to go back home from Qatar if I find out that she has sent Tasha away. I told her I'm going to be real bad at her if she did that thing to my dog.

When Marley got sick, I knew what's going to happen next but then, I was not expecting that he will die that way. I wish it wasn't like that. I end up crying and I felt bad because they killed him and did not let nature ended his life. I know that they didn't want him to suffer more so they just had to use mercy killing to make it easy for everyone. But that's so bad idea for me.

Until now, I get teary eyes about Marley's fate. He was living his life as normal as he could, he wanted to be loved and accepted for who he was. And then he just died like that. Poor dog. Waaaahhhhh!!! I hope my Tasha won't have the same destiny as him.

I've been away from home since September... I traveled 12 hours from Philippines to the Middle East. I was so busy that I can not even blog about my life in Qatar and how I've been spending every day of it with so many strangers. After almost eight busy months, I'm back home. And there is nothing I could wish for other than staying here for good.

Bad news, I'm not living here in the Philippines for the rest of my life. I know I have to travel to make my dreams come true. I just can not stay in one place and wait for everything to happen. Well, I have so much work waiting for me in Doha, so I know I'll be back there soon. I guess I have to spend my thirty days here wisely so I can say that I truly enjoyed my vacation. Hmmmm.... what should I do then? I hope I can think right this time. I must not be lazy to plan for a very wonderful vacation... As of now, I'm happy that I have time to write again and speak out what is on my mind. I have spent one dramatic evening with my sister last night, listening to her problems and all that... My mom's unending debt list was calculated again, my heart beating fast, worrying about my savings, my savings that could bring me to Disneyland if I will not use it to solve financial problems here at home, my brother who is begging me to buy him his Arsenal jersey which I was not able to buy in Doha... And all of them inviting me to go to the mall and shop for whatever they want... Oh my... Yes, this is home, I'm not dreaming. I missed this drama in my life... There's nothing more I can say but "Yes, it's good to be home!"

hi bloggers and readers... it's been quite awhile... well, i really miss blogging. I'm so busy that when i get home from work, i go to bed and sleep. I'm thinking of writing a new blog about my love life, but i don't think it's really something that would interest all of you. I'm just so depressed that I can't tell anybody about what's going on in my life. I'm tired to keep what's inside of me, like i wanna shout and tell the world that I'm hurting. Although i know the fact that this pain will not stay forever, I'm still worried and I'm sad that this is happening to me. I used to be very happy and satisfied with my loved one, until distance separated us for quite some time. I trusted, I believed. Later on, i knew it wasn't worth it at all. Even if there was an apology, I couldn't let the pain go. It's been 5 months since it happened and here I am, stuck with the pain in my heart. I have no idea how to move on. I'm still with this person I love so much. Is it real that you can love someone even if the trust has disappeared? I used to say that trust is more important than love. Now, I can't say goodbye though I don't trust this person completely anymore. I know I have to let go but there is something that holds me back. The pain goes on and on everyday, and i feel so helpless as day goes by. I don't know what to do, I'm confused. I hope that soon, I'll find a way to accept the mistakes and learn to forgive and just forget. I wish it's possible. I wish it's so easy to move on.

Oh my God! It's been a long time since I last wrote something here. I've been busy since September. I told you guys that I'm heading to Qatar and when I got here in Doha, I worked and worked and worked...

I have no PC here in Qatar before; I used to borrow someone else's laptop. I can't blog because I have not much time to do so. Of course, shy to borrow her laptop for hours. Finally, I bought my laptop last Thursday, so here I am now. I hope back for good. I'm really busy at work. "Too much work" as what my Lebanese co-worker says all the time. Sometimes, I sit back and think what if I go back home in the Philippines. I know I won't get the job that I really like but at least I'm with my family, right? Homesickness slowly kills me. And I can't accept the fact that there is also discrimination here in Qatar. I'm a Filipino who works with arab peeps. And to my dismay, my boss thinks about money, money, and money. He even makes us go to work even on our rest day. Fridays are supposed to be our day off and yet, he gets our friday evenings to work for his studio.. You know, we even have work on Christmas day. It upsets me that he has no respect on Christian holidays. Why he didn't give us a week to spend our Christmas season? We worked hard during Garangao and Eid last September and October. We worked more or less 16 hours in one day! We worked whole day on fridays too. Isn't that too much? What is more upsetting is that Filipino salary is just half of what other nationalities in our studio get. And about workload, ours is more than those peeps. Damn it! I always think about leaving that studio but where will I go once I left it? Patience is virtue as we always say, but how long must I be patient? Oh well, I guess I have to accept the fact that this world is really unfair. I'll just make my own world where there is only love, peace and justice.

Are you familiar with this? Sunday at home is known as "Sin Day" which means, eating anything you want to eat just to make you happy, but strictly within 24 hours only! Yup, this is being followed at home since we are all overweight. My brother who goes to the gym regularly told us about this one very helpful thing to make us lose weight. Eat right from Monday til Saturday, then eat everything you are craving for on Sundays only. I think following this routine helped us lose weight somehow plus drinking water before meals NOT after meals...

I love it when it is Sunday... I ate grilled pork chops with a cup of rice for lunch, I had pizza for my 4:00 pm snacks, I had coke too, and I had lasagna for dinner... MMMMM... so yummy!!! Tomorrow is Monday and I'll be back eating 1/4 cup of rice with a small piece of meat for lunch and dinner, and just crackers in between meals. No softdrinks (which makes me sad), and no sweets (which makes my days like a nightmare!)

Oh well, don't you simply love "Sin Days"?!
I bet you do now.

do u ever feel like you have an unfinished business with someone you've met ages ago? like u want to meet that person again for a chat or u want to clear some things up with him?

its been 10 years when i met this guy from the place i used to work at. I was a front counter crew in a fast food restaurant, and this guy used to line up to my counter. I can say he was our regular customer. He was always having breakfast meals and after his classes, he would drop by for some snacks. On weekends, he and his friends would drop by after their basketball practice. One night, the place was tightly packed. All counters were full, I was in a rush. When it was his turn to order, he asked me if i can be his prom date... i stopped for a few seconds, shocked, then i said "Why me? No... I'm sorry, but really, NO."

After that, he never ordered on my counter anymore. If he had no choice, he would let his friends order for him. I felt he was upset, disappointed, and he hates me. I wasn't able to explain. I know i was able to hurt him, but i had no chance to make him feel better.

I want to let him know why i refused. I had a boyfriend back then, I'm older than him, and I'm just a service crew, while he could be a rich kid just playing a game. I was afraid that maybe he was not serious at all. It's been 10 years, I don't know where he is. I don't know if he still remembers that incident. The store where it all happened is already closed. We cant go back, hoping to bump at each other again.

How bout u? Is there any unfinished business in your life right now?

In everyone's love life, we don't know what's going to happen in a relationship. We might meet two different people who can change our lives instantly. Also, we might face the most difficult question there is. Now, if worse comes to worst, who are you going to choose to be with, the one you love or the one who loves you?

I don't want to make a decision like this in my life, it scares me. I don't want to choose coz I might end up choosing the wrong one. Sadly, we can't turn back time once we have made a decision already. This is also the same as choosing your head over heart... Well, if I really have to, I will choose the one who loves me because I know that the right time will come when i will be able to learn to love him back... Actually, the decision varies from one person to another. For me, I know myself so much and I know that it's easier teaching myself to love someone than teaching someone to love me the way I want him to. If I will choose to follow my heart, I might end up hurting deeply if I will continue loving someone who doesn't even feel anything for me. I believe that this is also the reason why God put our head above our heart.

I'm one of those people who wants to go and work abroad not for a higher salary (which it is if compared here in the Philippines) but because I want to travel and see places. I love to explore every corners in every land that my feet could take me. I don't want to lose the chance not to be able to see and know what makes other countries beautiful. If there is one job I would choose, I want to be a seawoman in a cruise ship. It doesn't matter whatever position God will give me there, but at least I'm part of that cruise and I'll be able to almost go around the world in less than a year. Now, I'm packing my things while waiting for my authenticated Qatar visa that might come anytime next week... My friends who are waiting for me in Qatar to work with too, told me that our employer booked me already and that I might receive the round trip ticket anytime too. OMG! I'm so excited! I've been to UAE two years ago, now, I'll be back in the middle east again. I know it's going to be a burning oven, so I should not forget my sunblock and whitening lotion (actually, these are on top of my "what-to-bring" list)... I guess I'll be leaving my new born niece behind, my pets, my room, my HP books... but I have to think of my future. I can't stay here trying to earn online all the time. I have to break some bones to get cash faster and I can't see with my own eyes the places the world has to show me if I would just sit here all day in front of my pc right? Oh well, I'm just counting days, see you soon Qatar!

Last Monday, August 25, 2008, at exactly 2:20 in the morning, my sister gave birth to my first niece! I'm so happy that finally I'll be seeing her who I patiently waited for 9 months. My sister was brought to the hospital 1:00 pm of August 24th, but then she was having hard time laboring so her doctor decided to have her delivery on the CS way. They started the operation 1:30 early morning of August 25th, then despite of the noise coming from my mom and our guests, I heard my niece's first cry. A few minutes later, I saw her at the nursery room. Miyu, as what her dad named her, looked like her mom. It was funny that her dad was claiming she looks like him. Well, I didn't argue with him anymore. Fine, it's his day anyway.

It was nine in the morning when I had time to sleep. After an hour and a half, mom woke me up and said that the nursery is open for viewing. "What?", i asked. I saw her a few hours ago, I haven't slept for almost a day. Oh well, I waited for her for nine months, so a few minutes to visit her is worth it for sure. To my dismay, she didn't look like her mom anymore. She is now a photocopy of her dad, OMG, I don't want her to have his dad's little eyes! Is it true that babies looks at birth change that fast?

Nevermind, at least my niece is healthy, right? I hope she will grow up to be a good girl who loves to study and read books, than going out with friends and come home late at night, or worst, going to the casino and play poker like her "spending-one-million-pesos-in-one-night-at-the-casino" father... (Grrrrr!!!)

If you are rich and can make a movie, what would it be about and who would you want to work with you?

As a frustrated movie writer, I have a lot of stories stuck in my mind that I still hope will be on big screen someday. But if I were rich and can pay anyone to work with me, i would like Tom Cruise and Katie, Brad and Angelina, Will Smith and Jada, Elijah Wood, Daniel Radcliffe, Orlando Bloom, Keira Knightley, Tom Hanks, and Kirsten Dunst to work for my movie....

Now here's the story:

How about transferring a few families to live on Mars to find out if it is a place like earth? and then there will be food, water, new built houses for these few chosen families.... Later on, they will encounter aliens who will try to kill them one by one... or find out there are also aliens who could be our friends. I prefer making it a scary movie, so I'll choose the first one.

The families are being monitored live via satellite. The scientists watch them 24/7... But just when the aliens started to attack them, the cams went off. So they lost contact from earth. Now, will they survive or not? Will it be too late to rescue them?

People are conducting researches about other planets. But I hope trying to live on someone else's territory is a big NO for everyone. This movie will teach us how to respect the lives and privacy of others (aliens, that's how we call them)...

Hmmm, I wish Warner Brothers can read this and pay me for my great idea.

Once i went to a friend's house along with our 3 other friends, greeted her mom and sister "good evening" as well as her grandfather and grandmother standing behind them. A few minutes after, her mom and sister left for a party.

Dinner time came, the five of us sat on the dining table, then I asked my friend, "why not call your grandparents to join us eat tonight?" She said, "I don't have grandparents, it's only us who are here."

Well, I didn't have to say anything more. She already knew then for sure. But still she asked me if I saw a ghost, I just said, "Let's not talk about it." But what if you saw a ghost at someone else's house, are you going to tell her about what you saw? I think we should, at least they are aware of it. We're not supposed to scare them more but just a little information will be smart enough to let them know the truth. But also be aware if that person don't believe in ghosts. You would end up looking crazy if you tell her about it. I would rather keep it to myself than letting her make fun of me at school. Well, the good thing about that incident was that her family knows that there are unseen people in their house. They feel them. So when I said a bit about it, the more they believed that what they felt in the house were real.

Someone asked from myLot (an online discussion/blog site) this question, "Is it normal to be single or not?" She said that she's 40 years old, got married and divorced, been into relationships and now, she chose to be single. Her friends think that it's a sad thing. So she asked myLotters (people from the discussion/blog site) about what we think about it.

Well, I said, it is normal. People tend to choose to be alone somehow. Being sick and tired in a relationship could be the main reason for that. Well, I used to be single for 3 years straight, and it's because i enjoy to be on my own than having someone to be with and think about everyday. Sometimes it's better to be single than having a boyfriend who is never really "in love" with you, right? How about you? What do you think about it?